Arrrrgh!

I began my internship yesterday and it was probably the best day to start. It happened to also be the annual staff outing. So at 3pm, the entire theatre rushed outside onto the pier and we climbed aboard a pirate ship and took a 2 hour sail around Lake Michigan. And if that wasn't enough, they proceeded to then feed me delicious appetizers! WHAT? Awesome. Today, while not spent on the water, is also going to be pretty cool. It is the first rehearsal of one of our fall shows and we have designer presentations and meeting the cast and breakfast. I am liking the pattern of work feeding me. So far I believe my job entails just a lot of organizing so that seems perfect for me. Some of you might have just cocked your head to the side and said, "but Ashley, you live like a pig... your room is a mess... do you even know how to file?... do you even own a planner?... do you know what a spice rack looks like?" The answer my friends is, I cannot organize my own life so, I enjoy organizing other people's lives. I believe the problem is that I am SO organized and SO OCD that I can't find a system that works for me because none of them are neat enough. Hence my life explodes into organized chaos where I know that the stapler is three inches below the construction paper which is right beside my makeup brushes. Other people however get the joyously organized, neat freak that is within. So work is gonna be great... YAY!

One of those days...

It is one of those days where I can't do anything right. More like one of those weeks. There have been some good things such as getting an internship and my sister becoming a Theta but honestly other than that... not much.

It is really lonely here right now. Matthew, who I am staying with, just left for the week so I have an apartment to myself and I don't know what to do with it. Boyfriend and I are no longer Boyfriend and I and I had to go pick some things up from his place yesterday and it was weird. It was awkward and it hurt. Honestly, I never stopped caring for him but we weren't going to last. It was worth it to waste our time. And then on top of that, the program I will be doing so I get credit for my internship requires full tuition and my parents are not thrilled about that. It makes sense to me. I am getting credit at the university so I should pay them for that but my parents believe (and it also makes sense) that I am not utilizing their staff so our money should not go to them.

My parents and I have a weird relationship. We are wonderfully tight and I love them very much but if I ever have a differing opinion from one of them my neck is on the line. It is hard to be my own person. And these aren't huge issues like religion or politics. These are issues like the length of shorts or color of top. Whether or not to dress up for Walmart. I am confused. When am I allowed to have my own opinion? When am I allowed to say what I feel and not be told I am wrong? I owe my life to these people but at the same time isn't it MY life? They fund me. I think that is my biggest incentive right now to just shut up and listen.

I blame the rain and grey skies for this post.